My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
We need a shit load of segways right now
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
