hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
