this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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