why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Randomize
