As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
