Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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