In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
