Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
