U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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