Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
