You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Randomize
