we have officially lost it.
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
