I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
3pm strippers are depressing
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
