mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
