dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
