it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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