i used baking grease as lip gloss
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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