Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
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