sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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