Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Randomize
