I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
