I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
