Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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