You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
