She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Randomize
