I like my sex mixed with concussions.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Randomize
