This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
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