The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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