the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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