Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
