Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Randomize