for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Randomize
