This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
