if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
You made out with two different species that night
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Randomize
