And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
my being single is dangerous.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
