Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
