Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
