Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
