roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
