Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
