but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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