I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
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