no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
He keeps bees of course he's weird
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
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