It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Randomize