I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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