If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
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