Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
