I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Randomize
