id be glad to
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
last night I used snow as a chaser
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
