when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
