He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize