i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
