What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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