My nipple is on Facebook.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
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