is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
