This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
