last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
