Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Randomize
