I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Randomize
