Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
