Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Randomize
