It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
porn star boner night. come get it.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Randomize
