nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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