He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
