Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Small penises have feelings too.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Randomize
