Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize