You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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