Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
