Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Randomize
