WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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