We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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