dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
