you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Randomize
